Going through the breakup of a marriage and filing for divorce is difficult at any time of the year. Unfortunately, the holidays put additional pressure on you and increase the risk of feeling depressed, lonely, or ‘apart’ from everyone else. While you can not avoid signs of the upcoming season or the flurry of activity it brings among family and friends, there are strategies that can help you better cope.
Holiday Coping Strategies When Going Through a Divorce
During divorce, disagreements over marital property, child custody, or other issues can take a toll on both your physical and mental health. This is especially true when your breakup and divorce proceedings occur over the holiday season. The following are tips that can help get you through this time of year:
Adjust Your Expectations
The Mayo Clinic advises that with the dizzying array of demands over the holidays, it is easy for anyone to get worn down. Decorating your home, buying gifts, hosting parties, and whipping up holiday feasts put excessive demands on both your time and your budget.
Divorce brings about major life changes. You may have recently moved to an unfamiliar area, and negotiations over marital property, alimony, and child support can leave your finances in flux. Lower your expectations of yourself and others this year and avoid comparing your situation to others or the past.
Avoid Making Major Decisions
Divorce is a major life stressor. It can leave you feeling confused and vulnerable, which can have a significant impact on how you view things and on your decision-making abilities. When it coincides with the holidays and the coming new year, you may feel the urge to make some major resolutions.
Wanting to pull up stakes and move, get into a new relationship, or suddenly change careers are all common. However, put these types of decisions off until you have time to settle and adjust to your new status.
Be Realistic About the Situation
The holidays can be a nostalgic time for many people. You may find yourself looking at your partner and back over your marriage with a feeling of wistful longing. While natural, use caution before acting on these impulses.
Be aware that if your spouse has engaged in marital misconduct, which under Section 2A:34-2 of the New Jersey Statutes could be a factor in your divorce or in related divorce proceedings, reuniting even briefly could have a major impact on your case. Be realistic in dealing with these urges and look at the situation as a whole before taking any actions.
Be Good to Yourself
Above all, be gentle with yourself over this holiday season. Avoid negative self-talk, while making sure you eat properly and get plenty of rest. Respect the fact that you are grieving the end of your marriage, while at the same time reminding yourself that you will eventually recover.
Take time to engage in hobbies and activities that may have taken a back seat during your marriage. Accept offers of help from family and friends, and do not hesitate in speaking with your doctor or getting counseling to address some of the issues you are experiencing.
Our New Jersey Divorce Attorney is Here to Help
At the Law Office Of Jordan B. Rickards, we have extensive experience in guiding people through a variety of different types of divorce cases. We provide the caring client support and aggressive legal representation needed to protect you during this difficult time. Contact our New Jersey divorce attorney and request a confidential, one-on-one consultation to find out how we can assist you.